Slut Index: Rising Fast
Let’s get the boring but important stuff over first: to briefly recap, the week ending November 16th produced a stunning 16 year high of new jobless claims filed. And while November job losses were expected to be around 200,000, the Fed was forced to announce its economic growth outlook through 2009 to be at virtually stagnant levels. Thus, things will get worse before they get worser. But, unless you were busy stampeding WalMart this week, you knew that, didn’t you? - and likely, you have started to cut back on your expenses. And whether that means no more "$$$$" Zagat rated restaurants, firing your trainer, resisting pedicures, or moving to Queens - you might be wondering, like CNN, what’s in it for me?
Now let me say right here that I do not at ALL refer to the terrible, terrible stereotype of rich, male trolls with nothing to recommend them except their wallets, and the vaguely decorous female goldiggers who adore them. But in a society, and city where (as we have discussed here ad nauseum) many men expect and are expected to provide lavish dinners plus their most recent tax return to win the dubious affections of certain sorts of ladies, are these men cutting back at all vis-a-vis their dating habits? Because if so, I have another "upside" for CNN, and one word for my suffering male friends: Sluts. Because I cannot believe some men are not quietly taking advantage of the vast plethora of accomplished sluts galloping about the city who will show up at your very door and quite happily provide only slightly drunken and inept services free of charge - or if you’re keen to avoid that chewed-off arm look, at least for the price of a 3am cab back to where she came from.
So this weekend I asked a few guys about this and the unsurprising answer may be summed up as a resounding if somewhat shamefaced, "Yeah, actually, thinking about it…yes..". After a few more beers, I was also able to extract some fairly gleeful recent anecdotes involving the Meatpacking District and such-and-such girl from Jersey, and so on. The other men, the ones who said things like "No! Of course not!", etc., did nevertheless look awfully thoughtful…and who can blame them? I also spoke to a few self-professed sluts who confirmed that, yes, they’d had a damned good couple of months, even if they couldn’t remember bits of it.
Of course, as rampant strumpets of both sexes rejoice, this does leave all the goldiggers, women who truly couldn’t give a toss about anyone’s income, and anyone else (hookers), rather in the lurch - but there you go. I suggest staying home with a good book, taking pleasure in the knowledge that at least someone’s stock, along with a few other things, is rising fast. Just like the good folks at CNN (didn’t) say.
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